Set boundaries
At the weekend I was able to lead a workshop with over 100 women at the Pachamama Festival and I am still totally filled with gratitude and joy.
I am telling you this here today because, among other things, we practiced with the energy of Durga. Durga is a goddess from the Hindu pantheon and has many parallels with Artemis (Greek) or Diana (Roman). She is both a warrior and a compassionate mother and is especially good at one thing: setting boundaries! She has an incredibly good nose for bullsh*t and doesn’t tolerate it.
Setting boundaries is incredibly important, because it is only through boundaries that I can
1. feel myself,
2. get in touch with others (“Man becomes the I through the Thou.” – M. Buber),
3. maintain my integrity.
Without exception, all the women in the workshop have experienced boundary violations. You probably have too, right? After an exercise, one sister shared an important insight: “It’s much harder to say “Stop!” when the boundary approach happens gradually, slowly, with a smile!”
Yes, indeed! Preferably with a pinch of manipulation à la “Don’t be like that!” or “I only mean well!” This is where you need the qualities of Durga: clarity, determination and willingness to act. I would add: trust in your belly voice! It MUST be exposed, clearly audible, dear woman. And if it is buried in you, set about uncovering it – immediately! Because it is nothing less than life-saving.
Interestingly, in a conversation with Luca, who led the men’s circle, it emerged that they also work with boundaries first in their work. Nice, isn’t it? After all, boundaries are also essential in a couple’s relationship – indeed, it is through them that real contact becomes possible in the first place and not, as many people still believe, through boundlessness and symbiosis.
Maybe these lines will make you think about where you are not standing up for yourself enough or not setting clear enough boundaries. I would be delighted!