It’s time to dispel a few common myths about beliefs.
1. negative beliefs are always bad.
Negative beliefs were not always negative, even if they are now a hindrance in your life. They have protected you! “Negative” In your childhood, beliefs were the best answer to an overwhelming fear. Let me give you an example: many women come to me with the sentence “I’m not welcome”. In friendships, relationships, groups, when dating, a rather obstructive sentence. But if we take a look, the sentence is still bearable as the existential fear of feeling that no one is there for me. As a child, a – well-founded – fear of death, because we are dependent on our parents to survive. So firstly, the belief has protected you from this overwhelming feeling and secondly, it has led you to think of compensation strategies – not always bad ones.
2. positive affirmations dissolve beliefs.
Positive affirmations on a purely mental level don’t dissolve anything except your valuable time into thin air. Chanting “I’m lovable, I’m lovable, I’m lovable” really doesn’t help, even if you do it 90 times a day for 90 days. For sustainable change, all three levels of cognition, emotion and body MUST be taken into account. So you don’t just have to affirm the new belief, you have to really, really feel and sense it on all levels. Then the chances are higher that something will move.
3. i am only capable of relationships when i have dissolved all beliefs.
Uihjuijui! Well then, have fun. See you next life. Chicas, I’ll tell you something: it doesn’t stop! As the Buddha said: “layers upon layers upon layers”! We are human – and will remain so until we die – and constant growth is (ideally!) part of that. With great self-compassion, a good dose of humor and as much awareness as possible, beliefs don’t have to ruin your relationships and get in the way of them. It is neither possible nor necessary to dissolve all beliefs (most of them are subconscious) in order to lead a happy life or a happy relationship.